He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
