I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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