some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
