hotel room ftw
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
