Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
