Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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