Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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