If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
