he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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