Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
