Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
