Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
