I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
