She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
