We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
