Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
