Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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