wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
