I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
