there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
