he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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