yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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