Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
