It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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