I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
