I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
