Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
