Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
