that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
