i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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