i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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