Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
pop tarts are not kleenex
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
