Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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