and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
