Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
