You made me cry and you don't even care
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
