My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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