both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
