omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
