My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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