I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
