My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
