she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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