you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
