I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He did a backflip because drugs
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
