I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize