My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
