sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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