he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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