I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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