Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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