he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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