come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
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