What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
