she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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