You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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