I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
