Don't you send me to vm
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
