I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
nutella sex= disaster
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
