Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Ambien. No doubt about it.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
