Dual....:-)
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
