I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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